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'Gather Me,' Glory Edim's memoir, tells the story of how she found her own identity

MICHEL MARTIN, HOST:

I'm guessing most of us have a favorite book, and some of us might even say there's a book that changed our lives. Our next guest has many - enough of them to shape her memoir, "Gather Me." Glory Edim is the founder of the Well-Read Black Girl book blub and literary festival. Her third book tells her poignant roller-coaster ride of a childhood, growing up as the daughter of Nigerian immigrants in search of their American dream. And she is with us now - Glory, welcome. Thank you so much for joining us.

GLORY EDIM: Thank you for having me. It's a honor to be here.

MARTIN: Well, thank you for that. But, you know, you have to admit, a book about books is very meta.

EDIM: Yeah (laughter).

MARTIN: How did you realize that your relationship with books was its own story?

EDIM: Well, you know, I wanted to share all the books I encountered throughout my life. And it became my own coming-of-age story because I knew I was finding my sense of self in stories. So whether I was reading, "Roll Of Thunder, Hear My Cry" or "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings," I was always feeling my own transformation. And I understood that reading wasn't just a form of entertainment for me.

MARTIN: But what do you think it is that caused you to see, at a very early age, that books could be a guide to life?

EDIM: Well, I think, because my parents and I had very different lived experiences and we were both in this new place of trying to figure out how to be, that my personal empowerment was so vital. And I think that empowerment becomes - it's necessary when you're seeking knowledge, you know? All the unique power we have - it comes from our own seeking and curiosity. And we have that power in our hands every time we open a book. For a lot of times when I was reading, it became an act of self-love. It became an act of defiance at sometimes, when I disagreed with my teachers or even my parents, and I was trying to figure out how to articulate that.

The things that I remember reading as a young person are who I am today. I can, like, pick a memory and pick a book, and those things are so closely linked together. And that's why I get so, you know, frustrated when I hear people talking about banning books and, you know, limiting access to stories because what you're doing is silencing voices.

MARTIN: One of the things that this book talks about is the power of books to help you break through silences...

EDIM: Yes, yes.

MARTIN: ...Silences that you may not even fully understand are silences until you've broken through them.

EDIM: Yes.

MARTIN: And I don't want to give away some of the, you know, pivotal moments in the book, but I feel it's important to sort of point out that at one point, your father - who you adored and who adored you - left the family in a shocking way. And, later, you found a trove of letters from him that made their way to you as an adult. Do you mind talking about that?

EDIM: Those letters were - I mean, they were heartbreaking for me because I had went through this period of thinking that my father didn't want me anymore, didn't love me. And I felt really dejected, and that wasn't the truth. And so when I discovered those letters, I became just so fascinated about how you can reconnect and rediscover yourself through - again, through words. Like, reading his words on paper just - like, it reinserted this self-compassion. It reconnected us in a beautiful way. And, I was able to go find my father again and just tell him how much I loved him and missed him and make amends. And I don't know what would have happened had I not found those letters, and it seemed to arrive just when I needed it. And that is what I was really trying to reflect upon - that this idea that, like, your story is long, and you might think it's going one way, but one action, one book, one letter can really change things.

MARTIN: There's one chapter in the book, which is both hilarious and heartbreaking, when you talk about the fact that you got absolutely the wrong message from some of the things you were reading.

EDIM: (Laughter) Yes.

MARTIN: But having said that, do you have any sympathy for people who - that's exactly why they are trying to ban certain books? - because they feel like, oh, no. You know, kids are going to get the wrong message, and therefore we should try to protect them from these works. Do you have any sympathy for that?

EDIM: Yeah, I did misread things. But that is, like, the crucial moment where we can - that's where the conversation comes in. We want young people to grow. So this idea of, you know, keeping them safe or hiding this information - it's not going to work out the way you want it to because young people are still going to find it, and they're still going to be exposed to ideas. We want them to be able to come to us and say, what does this mean? How can we connect around this conversation? And I really feel like banned books - and, you know, it disrupts collective healing, and it stifles conversations. I think we should be doing the opposite - of really championing diverse voices and thinking of how we can deeply connect with one another.

MARTIN: Before we let you go, Glory - your book club, Well-Read Black Girl, grew from a small gathering to now you have book festivals, literary festivals and a whole bunch of things. A lot of people would like to belong to a book club, but sometimes people find it unsatisfying, or it just devolves into just getting together to drink wine or whatever. And - do you have any tips on how to run a great book club?

EDIM: Oh, OK. My tip for running a great book club really starts with having a clear vision and a shared purpose. We started with this really clear mission about helping and supporting Black women writers, especially in the beginning of their careers. And, I think when you have a book club or a community where, you know, members are united by a common goal, and you really have guidelines on how you engage with one another and respect one another, and you know what you're seeking, that is what makes a beautiful community. And with Well-Read Black Girl, we make sure that our vision is both inspiring and actionable. So yes, we're talking about books, but we're also talking about civic engagement. We're, you know, connecting with young people. So it's a unique space that I know has taken on a life beyond just me. It just has taken on a life of its own, and I'm so proud of it.

MARTIN: OK, I'm going to put you on the spot.

EDIM: Ooh.

MARTIN: Do you ever kick anybody out of the book club because they don't read the book, actually, and they just want to come and drink the wine? Tell the truth.

EDIM: (Laughter).

MARTIN: Tell the truth (laughter).

EDIM: No, no, we don't kick them out. No, we don't kick them out. Listen, everyone plays a role. So maybe you're just passing the glasses around. It's OK.

(LAUGHTER)

MARTIN: Glory Edim is the author of "Gather Me: A Memoir In Praise Of The Books That Saved Me." Glory, thank you so much for talking with us.

EDIM: Oh, my goodness. Thank you for having me. This has been awesome.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.

Michel Martin is the weekend host of All Things Considered, where she draws on her deep reporting and interviewing experience to dig in to the week's news. Outside the studio, she has also hosted "Michel Martin: Going There," an ambitious live event series in collaboration with Member Stations.